|
Friday, April 30, 2004
Libra (Sept. 23 — Oct. 23) There's no point thinking you could step in and play centre for the Leafs. Some expectations might appear a little unrealistic but nobody is perfect, so don't be so demanding on yourself. why does this a) seem all to appropriate for me and b) make me feel just a bit better? ever have one of those days where you just want to throw in the towel and walk away from EVERYTHING? welcome to my friday. please, i'd love it if you'd tell me that im not making an efficient use of my time. even after i told how busy i am with other things to do (wedding, moving, presentation, etc) and then you say "well, then, its more important to structure your time more appropriately and effectively in the lab." the worst part is, i know he's right. i think. i do what i can. but when i said i was going to transform on monday, he goes "well, why didn't you set up to do it last night?" and i totally could have. that didn't even OCCUR to me. still, its not my fault that the project YOU gave ME to do has a lot of wait times. i can't do anything to make yeast grow faster, so please, don't think that i can, and don't expect that i can. transfections take 48 hours, and there's NOTHING i can do to speed that up either. besides, do you know what its like to work for someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about your life outside of the lab and how busy it is? i do. let's chat, shall we? fuck. its the kind of day where i just want to hang my head, go home to my cold apartment, curl up on the couch with a blanket and stay there and never ever leave. leaving is when you let people down, leaving is when you 'don't use your time effectively', leaving is when you screw everything up. its the kind of day where you want to go home and just bury yourself in someone's chest and stop caring about everything except for that moment and the two of you. to just feel like you're not alone. its strange how just being held can make it feel like nothing else matters. i hate feeling like this. but today is one of those days where i just can't help it. im tired and im grumpy and yes, im a bit whiny. but its not even noon yet and my day thus far has been one of the worst ever. im spent. i had the strangest, most vivid dreams last night.....VERY weird. 1) there was a leak in the roof of my parents house. "but melissa," i hear you say, "how is that any different from when water poured into your bedroom at home?" well. it was in a spot that didn't leak before, and it wasn't just a leak, it was GUSHING. 2) crazy weird old trucker guy who tried to pick me up on icq yesterday (and strangely went offline when i lied and said i had a boyfriend -- heh) came to karrie's house (i was living there, had been all moved in) and was still trying to pick me up. he was strong and scary and i was completely terrified but still managed to get him out of the house and lock the door (of which we had two -- and it wasn't like a screen door/regular door....they were two regular doors. weird.. 3) i was hanging out with a friend and suddenly we had to go to the hospital (only it wasn't a hospital, it was very homey like, almost like a hospice but not) because she was pregnant and suddenly was having a spontaneous abortion (ie losing the baby). all my relatives were there (strange) and for whatever reason, she wasn't in a room for all of this, we were all hanging out in a lounge-type area with those funky longer than usual ikea couches/beds (you know, the really cool ones). i TOLD you they were weird. and SO VIVID it was scary. like whoa.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
i totally just missed all of friends because i was giving computer support over the phone to my mom. (me = smrt). i did however, see ross and rachel kissing at the end. can someone fill me in? edit: chris martin is SO incredibly hot in coldplay's 'yellow' video. currently listening to: thornley | so far so good i just realized that my life is totally not in my hands and there's nothing i can do about it and i HATE IT. #$@#$@#$*%&#@$@#*$&@ end meltdown. in other news, i need to learn how to take a compliment, and i know that, but i still can't do it. oh well. you'll have to accept me as i am. :P currently listening to: lostprophets | sway how gloriously and fabulously unfair. there is a wonderfully silver jetta TDI (with sunroof) parked outside my house. and its NOT MINE! :(
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
currently listening to: lostprophets | make a move dear wade belak, i think i love you. sincerely, melissa WHOLLY CRAP. that was un-friggin-believable! TWO GOALS in TWO MINUTES! (or some reasonable time estimation thereof). by mogilny and ponikarovsky nonetheless, both BEAUTIFUL goals made by two guys who have been silent during the playoffs. maybe it was the home crowd, who knows -- but that game was AWESOME. oh, and how much did i LOVE 3 philly guys in the penalty box at ONE TIME? mucho. belak was throwing checks around like they were goin' out of style, and it was FABU. also some really great checks by mccabe (sigh). i never knew i could love hockey this much. (my sister's probably thinking i've been abducted and brainwashed at this point in time). the game was enjoyed with a couple pints of keith's and some wings (that second batch was SO not 'medium' -- i thought my mouth had totally burned off, yeesh) and the hottest girl in town. it was awesome fun, if only she wasn't going away to work we could watch the leafs in the final round! (ha. i dream.) oh, the worst part of the game? when that chick with the big boobs got more applause in the bar than the maple leafs did. LWTF. let's all pretend we're morons, shall we? at any rate, game = fabulous. mel = tired. i think i should post for 'puck you' and head off to bed. nite kiddies! currently listening to: edge 102 Name: melissa Sex: female Age: 22 Birthday: october 13 1981 Eyes: blue/gray (they change colours, depending on what im wearing) Hair: brown with some blonde highlights Glasses: not for me! Height: 5'8"-9"ish Education: finished undergrad in molecular biology and genetics at the university of guelph, now onto a masters degree (same major, same university) Future plans: complete masters. figure out desire for phD, do that or find a job. Did you ever play any sports? badminton x6 years. just smash it. Did you ever play any instruments? piano, guitar, viola, and i sing. Places you've visited: curacao (netherlands antilles), chicago x2, montreal, quebec city, boston, bc What do you do? not as much as my prof thinks i do. hahaha. well, no. research -- localization of the protein family we study as well as screening for interacting proteins Favourite number: 13 Favourite TV Shows: er, oc, csi, csi miami, law and order, law and order SVU What's on your mouse pad?: its orange and circular with some lines in it. from ikea. Magazines: chart. basically music mags. Favourite Smells: freshly cut grass (as long as im not cutting it), rain, so pink, of a woman, swiss army (talk about going weak in the knees), romance (for men) Best feeling in the world: having a good time with friends, making eye contact with someone, that fluttery feeling you get in your stomach when you like someone Worst feeling in the world: feeling like i've let someone down, realizing that what you want won't happen. Favourite Musicians: ben folds, alkaline trio, silverchair, coheed and cambria, alexisonfire, weakerthans, martina sorbara, sarah mclachlan, finger eleven, goldfinger, thursday, weezer, counting crows, incubus, too many to name. Favourite soundtrack: stigmata First thing you think of when you wake up? if i really have to get out of bed, and then what its like outside. Do you get motion sickness? not really Roller-coasters: scary or exciting? mmmm....FUN. Pen or pencil? fine point papermate comfort-mate pens. they're fabulous. Boxers or briefs? well, im a girl. neither. boy cuts are fun. i don't have too many of those tho. How many rings before you answer the phone? depends on how far away i am or what im doing. Son's name: im 22. cut me some slack. Daughter's name: see above Favourite foods: stirfry, pizza, nachos, fries (if they're good), wraps, pitas (ps: as though guelph needs a THIRD pita place downtown. geez.) Do you get along with your parents? yep Chocolate or vanilla? who says you can't have both! Favourite ice cream? ben and jerry's half baked. sogood. Favourite car: JETTA!!!!!! TDI!!!!! standard. ohsofun. want one NOW! Do you like to drive? and how! Do you sleep with stuffed animals? i have a giant spongebob squarepants pillow on my bed. its huge. and i love it. What was your first car? well, it wasn't mine, but it was my mom's -- the old woody wagon. bubba the moon buggy. may he rest in pieces. If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be? ben folds Favourite alcoholic drink: a tie: moosehead, keith's, and amaretto sours. so good. Who is your favourite poet/lyricist? ben folds Do you eat the stems of broccoli? who doesn't? If a girl asked for the shirt off your back, would you give it? no, coz then i'd be topless, and that'd be a BAD scene my friends. If you could have any job, what would it be? grissom on csi! If you could dye your hair any colour, what would it be? i wouldn't. Have you ever been in love? yes. What is on the walls in your room? weezer poster, hawksley poster, martina poster, pictures of my friends Lefty, righty, or ambidextrous? righty Do you type with both fingers on the keys? i didn't do all that 'fff jjj' stuff for nothing. im pretty fast too. If you could be any gardening tool, what would you be? ummm.....a rake, because then i can always bring things close to me (??) Favourite sport to watch: nhl playoffs! wahoo! currently listening to: edge 102 i forgot to post what is the saddest news of all last night! :( my hot boy at second cup has a 'significant other', unfortunately. thank god i didn't find this out after humiliating myself by asking him out -- im lucky i have friends like ashley who do my homework for me! hahaha! we all know i would have been to chicken to do it by the end of the month anyways! ha. today, not a lot to do in lab. transfecting and then probably befriending the microscope (again). ideally, i'd like to be home by 4:30 so i can head over to frankenstein's downtown for some dinner and the game with the hottest girl in town! good thing i'm a cheap date! ;) lol anyhoo. should maybe go lay out the plans for the day and then go upstairs and see how that microscope's doing. ta!
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
currently listening to: lostprophets | sway wow. this is long. but well worth it. and really interesting. currently listening to: lostprophets | start something well, i started something AND finished it. a hella new design for this beast, and let me tell ya, it took a LONG time to figure out what i wanted to do. and me, the music and lyric queen of the world had a REALLY hard time figuring out what quote to use in the bottom part of the header graphic. ME! geez. what IS this world coming to. i will switch that bottom quote up sporadically, just to keep you on your toes and to keep things a bit fresh. hope you like! i just watched my entire thesis project crumble, right in front of me. this does not feel so good. edit 2:05 pm: i may have jumped the gun. i don't know, my prof isn't quite as concerned as i was, so maybe its no big deal? in other news, i have spent FAR too much time with this friggin' microscope today. yeesh. i am now completely dissatisfied with my entire wardrobe because it all seems too big. now if only had money to go out and buy many more new clothes. le sigh. ps: it feels completely like cottage weather outside right now, and i want to go SO BADLY. may 24 isn't that far away, i guess i'll just have to wait. perfect verandah sitting weather....with blanket....music....book.....mmmm. fabulously cozy.
Monday, April 26, 2004
currently listening to: something embarrassing if you know, keep it quiet. its embarrassing. hahaha. *blush* there's no rhyme or reason to something that just speaks to you. to me, this whispers vulnerability and fear. and for some reason, i really like it. plus, its mostly in my range (with the exception of one line), and i like to sing it softly and it sounds really good, i like it. i remember my music teacher in high school told me that i had a baby softness in my voice that she just loved. i think thats what i really like about singing this. in general, reassuring and comforting. i can't explain it. its one of those songs that makes you want to completely give yourself to someone, and while im not exactly in a situation to do that, its nice to have that feeling again, to have that want, that desire to completely surrender and let yourself be just a bit weaker than usual, to rest in someone else's arms and feel like nothing else matters, to just breathe in another person and be completely and utterly content. wow. thats pretty deep considering how tired i am. i guess its just a mood. ((i hope)). just pardon it. big day of emails today. all in all, i guess im just glad i eventually got one back. im not too sure whats going on, but i know we'll figure it out. im going to have a mother of a bruise on my inner left thigh in about a day or two. it swollen and tender, and ohsosore to the touch. note to self: stop playfighting with those much stronger than you. it doesn't work to your advantage. its late, and i should have been in bed well over an hour ago. going there now. so comfy. night :) currently listening to: green day | brain stew classic. haven't heard this song in a long time, and it sounds so good. for whatever reason, today, on my walk to the bus stop, all my music sounded so much better than normal. maybe it was being exposed to retro whitney houston and 'we are the world' on the weekend, perhaps it made me appreciate my music even more. haha. had a great weekend. thursday concert = swell, slumber party at robin's = swell, felt so productive saturday during the day, had mucho fun saturday night and sunday (which resulted in a much lower productivity), hockey game last night (even tho the leafs lots, they played damn good -- if we can do that on home ice, i think we can take philly for the next two games, especially if sundin is back full speed and nieuwendyk's dressed and out). the only thing is that im wicked sore today. chest muscles, leg muscles, arms....oy. im gonna pop an advil in a minute, see if that can help. at any rate, today = long busy day. immunofluorescence plus two yeast transformations -- gross. in about 20 mins i'll have to go check my one culture and see how its growing. i think im gonna go out on wednesday to watch the game. head back to frankenstein's downtown and just grab some fries and enjoy the scenery. and the hockey. hahaha. im funnie. who wants to join? it'll be a fun-for-all. well, should probably head back to work. its only monday, i can't slack too much yet.
Saturday, April 24, 2004
currently listening to: someone screaming, er, i mean singing on tv so the update. last night karrie picked me up and we went to the loverly town of kitchener (ps: all you people drive CRAZY) to catch thursday in concert. the doors opened at 7, we left shortly before then, with plans of getting gas-ola and some dins. once we found a spot to park (good lord it was tricky) we walked down to the great patio bar across the street from element called "the still". its an awesome place. large patio, big garage doors that can be opened in the summer -- guelph REALLY needs a place like that. we ordered some antijitos and garlic bread, and what we got was a gigantic wrap rolled up with 1 teaspoon of cream cheese, and garlic bread. so the antijitos was mucho disappointing. around 8:30 we headed over to elements. im not too sure, but i think the guy checking ID's hit on me. i really suck at this. this is what happened: him: looking at my ID me: making eye contact because im afraid he'll think its fake or something if i don't -- lots of eye contact him: grins (:D) me: smile back, kinda like "???" him: 'there it is!' me: 'come on, no one smiles in those things!' walks over to wristband guy is that what that was? i have NO clue. anyways. we get inside, there's some local opener band on stage, finishing up their stuff. we check out merch. disappointing zip hoodie. so we headed over to find some place to stand (this is why im not such a big fan of shows anymore. i have bad knees. standing = trouble.) the band finishes, and we leave our spot to go look at the merch table once again. decide on brown tee with the bird on the front of it. mucho fun. head back to spot, only to find out spot = gone. someone stole it. rat bastards. we find a new one, not too far from where we were and chill there, deathly afraid to leave for fear of losing our spot, AGAIN. the second band came on, i was assuming they were just another local opener, but it turns out they were actually poison the well, the band that's touring with thursday. they were good, i didn't know any of their stuff, but they were rather enjoyable. it was during poison the well that i noticed chatty mc poserpants had come to stand beside me. talked through the WHOLE GODDAMN SET. about what krista said the other night, and this idiotic guy he saw in this car at the mall. gimme a break. i wanted to turn around and say "yo, chatty. do i come to your dinner table and play poison the well? no? well then SHUT THE HELL UP. we found out during the thursday set that poison the well was stuck at the border for THREE DAYS because they weren't allowed into the country. strange. so then after PTW finished, i sat down (to try and combat the onslaught of knee achiness) and chatty mc poserpants proceeded to take my spot! grrr. i was about ready to hit that boy something fierce. i made another spot beside karrie and stood for the break, again worried about losing somewhere to stand. thursday took the stage. so good. all in all, great set, tho i was disappointed not to hear 'war all the time', 'asleep in the chapel' and 'steps ascend'. they did however play 'understanding (in a car crash)' and 'i am the killer', and a couple other older tunes. good to hear. right before the end of 'understanding' (i think), something blew on stage. "well, i don't wanna talk shit or anything, but i think we just blew this bitch" haha. awesome. some concerns during the show arose. the lead singer spoke to the kids at the front, telling them to be careful, because he's been to the kay-dub hospital in the past few days and doesn't want to see any of them there. he then announced that he was sick, and on morphine, so he was feeling pretty funny. morphine?!?! doode, they don't give you morphine for a cold. so now its my mission to find out if there's anything seriously wrong with him, and thus far, nothing has turned up. tres strange, kids. has me worried. maybe later it was the morphine talking, but it was still damn hilarious when he spoke of the giant mirrorball that hung on the ceiling. heh. "i think i've heard that this is the biggest mirrorball in the whole world. ryan, can we get some lights on that? can we get it going? the answer was no. "well, i love mirror balls, you always know when there's a mirror ball, its a motherfuckin' party." haha. mirror ball. party. right on. it was around then that this girl standing behind me decided to move up right beside me - she was standing on this carpeted box (heh) and pretty much shoved her elbows right in my face. she was like, 16, and i was SO ready to take her. i kept moving over and kind of gently pushing her, and FINALLY she got the point and MOVED. stupid whoor. they continued to play great songs, and later on, my suspicions were confirmed when the lead singer announced that, yes, in fact, the tune 'm. shepherd' is about matthew shepherd. he explained the story to the kids in the audience (most of whom were far too young when that all took place) -- i applauded, along with many others. they finished the set off with division st (it was quite obvious that was the last song) and then left the stage. we kept going crazy (well, the younger kids did) and they came back out and geoff, the lead singer goes "well guys, im in a lot of pain, but if you've got one more in you, then i've got one more in me." all in all, good show. worth the money, glad i went and stood beside chatty mc poserpants and elbowgirl. i could have taken both of them. ha. i RULE. i was mucho tired at this point in time. had been up since 6:20 am. oy. afterwards, karrie dropped me off at robin's for a highlighting party (for adrienne's hair) and we hung out and chatted and watched grease (and echoed the CLASSIC lines of the movie! too many to repeat!). we stayed up til about 3, talking and watching the movie and then listening to some tunage and by this point, i had reached my second wave and wasn't tired anymore. instead, i wanted to stay up and chat. but they had to get up early, and went to bed, and i just crashed on the couch. the whole evening was so much fun. love both those girls. must. do. again. this morning held its own funnie remarks ("i think i forgot my breasts", which wasn't actually said, but rather misheard by yours truly) and then they dropped me off and headed off to kay dub to do bridesmaid stuff for their friend who's getting married. all in all, great night. would have been better if karrie's stupid head wasn't acting up, but hey, you win some, you lose some. now, im off to watch some tapes from shows i recorded on thursday, and then i'll maybe try and play with this puppy and make it look better. i FINALLY got an idea for a title, now just need a layout and graphic. its also laundry day today. and i went into lab and did some stuff as well. i am the productivity queen. ta! currently listening to: the surreal life on tv for mike (to make things easier than playing the comment game) or anyone else -- my msn is flipher8@nospam.yahoo.com ((remove the nospam and you got the address)). am heading into lab both today AND tomorrow. giant EW. am wearing fabulous new thursday tee. giant wo0t! will post more on the show later!
Friday, April 23, 2004
currently listening to: thursday | war all the time dear antropov (#80! haha) bench yourself. you're playing like shite. like standing in belfour's way, deflecting the puck so that philly scores. MOVE YOUR ASS. thanks. hockey announcers are DUMB. i don't know where they come up with this crap, talking about hotel rooms for five minutes! how the leafs are 45 minutes out of town, staying with some medical conference or something, and a track meet. hi. let's follow the game, shall we? and then the unbelievable "the clock, she is broken." (yes, the clock was indeed broken). we laughed so much at that. we DIDN'T laugh at antropov because he's a TOOL and shouldn't be on the ice. one of my friends' msn names right now is "question: why does antropov play more than roberts?" and thats a great question. he doesn't throw any checks, he's in the way, he doesn't do a lot to help the leafs with their game. so why use him? however, the true mystery of the night: who is wilm? (yes, i know its clark(e) wilm, #39, thankyouverymuch) i've never EVER seen him or his name before, and he played a LOT last night!! he wasn't bad, i don't think, but who knows. he was better than antropov, thats for damn sure. then again, I'M probably better than antropov. anyhoo. gotta finish getting ready for today. thursday tonight! wo0t! je suis tres excited! ta!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
currently listening to: thursday | division st. wo0t! im making dinner! and robin's coming over and we're watching the hockey game! and fighting over bryan mccabe! (heh. he's SO mine.) so in preparation for this fun, i cleaned. and GOOD GOD im a fuckin' pig. well, or i hadn't cleaned in a long time. im inclined to go with the latter. wholly crap it was SO disgusting and nothing feels better (and worse?) than seeing how dirty your house is while you're cleaning it. its like becoming a new person. ahh. gotta go double check all is ready! lates! currently listening to: edge 102 | franz ferdinand - take me out how much do i LOVE this song. no movie for me last night. decided later on that i probably should abstain, since my bank balance is a bit lower than i usually like it. plus i spent money on tuesday, on dinner at frank's, which, for a place supposedly known for hot dogs, had not the best chili cheese dog i've ever had. it was like, -3 alarm chili -- no flavour. disappointing. i like the fries tho. formulating a plan to deal with the questions from yesterday. i think it'll be good. i hope so, anyways. really tired right now. lab work = almost finished. need to get home today to call bell to see about fixing my phone jack, since you know, i plumb forgot yesterday. kinda funnie, considering the whole reason i wanted to go home early was to call bell. and then i did nothing, and it was a fabulous afternoon with a capital FAB. im trying to decide if i should go home this weekend or not. i kinda do, coz i know i can have dad's car and just do fun things, but nicole's busy all weekend with other folks, so that really doesn't leave me anywhere to go. i kinda hope my income tax comes in soon, i need new shoes like whoa. fader, you need to get your ass back to guelph so we can watch a hockey game together or something. or some jay and silent bob. or some spongebob. really, i'm up for just about anything. come back soon! t'ain't much more for me to chat about today. concert time tomorrow (WAHOO!), and then helping fader do her hair (good god can i highlight someone's hair?) at robin's place. other weekend plans? well, nothing on tap, we'll see. besides game 2 on sunday. its kinda weird, but im really into this whole hockey scene right now. not what i (or anyone who knows me) would expect, but i really like it. i think i could keep it up all year. anyways. nothing more from me kids. ta.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
currently listening to: melissa auf der maur | followed the waves how much does this song OWN. the guitar. her voice. everything. i followed the waves to you but i cannot see it through my heart lies to you you'll never have me true fueled by the size of my burning eyes my heart burns wildly in his eyes he's just a drunk and gambling man dealing with the hand of desires thin im gonna shuffle his deck clean. LOVE IT. in unrelated news, im going to see dawn of the dead tonight. bring on the zombies. im excited. sarah polley in a zombie movie? rock it. excited = me. currently listening to: nothing. frustrations boiling down. becoming concentrated. if you're mad at me, TELL ME. there's nothing that annoys me more than passive-aggressive anger. nothing can be fixed if you're not going to own up to how you feel and talk to me about what i've done. i can't stress how important this is. nothing irks me more than when people hold grudges without telling me why. this point goes with frustrations too. if im doing something that makes me you mad, TELL ME. if its been mentioned before, chances are, i didn't remember or haven't taken it seriously (especially if it occurs via msn). so say it again. for the love of god, and all that is holy -- speak your mind. thoughts and feelings that you have obviously matter to you, because you HAVE them. if you are reading this, chances are you are one of my friends (or some random person looking for something else, in which case, i apologize and pat you on the back if you've actually read this far). things that matter to my friends will always matter to me. if you are feeling a certain way, and you want to talk about it, i would love nothing more than to listen to you. i will never discredit anything you're feeling. please. always remember that. that being said, if i have issues with you, i will tell you. its only fair -- i respect people and give them a chance to explain things, so please, take that courtesy and extend it to me. its all i've ever asked. end rant. so today i finished my lab work early, and came home. had frustrating msn conversation. wrote rant. that pretty much brings us up to date. my parents got high speed today. i think its going to kill my dad to figure out how to use. haha. oh well, i'll help him figure it out. not a lot else for me to say, really. i feel boring and uneventful, and full of rant-y goodness. as often as i do it (it feels), i don't like ranting. but it needs to come out somehow. so you all get to read it. here's a poll, and leave your answers as comments: am i uptight? overly cautious? an unwilling participant? coz im starting to think i am. but im not sure if its just my overly critical self or not.....oy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
currently listening to: phantom planet | big brat dear joe nieuwendyk (sp?), eddie belfour, bryan mccabe, chad kilger, and tie domi: MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love, melissa now they just need to play like that against philly too, and we're all good! THAT was hockey!!!!! currently listening to: edge 102 | the strokes - reptilia i've just discovered inpassing.org. i have sat here reading these overheard tidbits for about an hour, and come very close to laughing out loud (thankfully, have remained quiet because people would look at me VERY weirdly.) its been four hours now, with approximately 10 minutes worth of work completed (not because im lazy, but because i have nothing to do). je suis tres bored. lesigh.
Monday, April 19, 2004
currently listening to: the mixed cd im going to make (its playing in my head) i am going to scream. i love how EVERYONE can have a bad day and im supposed to be sympathetic and understanding and all (and really, i don't mind) but when crap is happening to me, i get shit from pretty much everyone and occasionally, blocked on msn. i know i can be a bitch when im in a bad mood, and certainly no fun to be around, but for real people, BLOCKING?!?! you ain't no dish of sunshine either, sweetheart. i love how being in grad school means i shouldn't need to watch the hockey game. if you hear about a murdered professor at u of g, worry, and make sure i have a good lawyer please. honest. not like a WHOLE DAY would make a grand difference. i spent the morning INCREDIBLY frustrated and on edge because of my stupid prof and then spent the afternoon feeling the same way, only add on the feelings of being a fat cow. honest to god. it was beautiful weather outside, and all i wanted to do was go to bed and forget outside even existed. i love how suddenly EVERYTHING is structured for me and i have no time for either myself or my friends. i need to move. who am i kidding -- i don't need to move. i'll just keep living here, BY MYSELF, paying $650 / month. who needs cheaper rent and friends. *muffled 'i do!'* honest to god, im more stressed and frustrated now than i was during the whole thesis proposal/marking/classwork fiasco. so let's make a deal. how about everyone schedules me for whatever, and then just let me know when i can have time for myself, to figure out things like moving and wedding stuff. oh, and if you can make sure i have time to breathe, that'd be swell. thanks. currently listening to: edge 102 | hurt (johnny cash) do you ever have one of those days where nothing matters and nothing goes right, and all you want to do is go home and wake up and have it be tomorrow? a gigantic UGH. things just aren't right. im frustrated. and want to go home. alas, thats not going to happen until MUCH later today. hopefully by 6 i'll be outta here. here's hoping.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
currently listening to: leafs game dear eddie (belfour), as much as i love hearing the words "saved by belfour!", and as often as i do hear them, please don't leave the crease when there are at least 3 ottawa players in your zone. it makes me nervous. thanks. melissa hahaha -- ps: thanks for delivering those kidney shots to vermette (i think) when he was standing in front of you. it made me laugh big time.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
on discussing love and possibilities: "always second cup boy.....he seems to foam your latte." - heather hahahaha.
Friday, April 16, 2004
currently listening to: mars volta | televators i have NOTHING to do right now. i have to hang out at school til 4:30, which is when my dad is picking me up. i think im going to take off and go to the mall or something. because really, im effing bored. oh. i took out the picture from the last posting (the quiz result) because it never shows and makes my blog look ugly. so its gone. im going to the mall now (ish). ta.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
currently listening to: edge 102 | crappy nickelback thanks kristin. You are Miranda. Men tend to be intimidated by you because you're so intelligent and you most probably earn more than they can even dream of. You're quite a private person and don't like anybody interfering in your business. You're the one with her head screwed on and you offer brilliant advice. You sometimes find compromise difficult. "A 'Sex and the City' quiz" brought to you by Quizilla as much as i hate to admit it because i don't really consider myself to be THAT intimidating towards men (im more intimidated by them, obviously), this is relatively true.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
currently listening to: d12 | my band gotta go quickly coz karrie's coming to get me and we're going to harn's to watch the game, but i just realized something of importance. you know how i always complain about how its cold in my apartment? well, its 12 degrees in here right now. which is only one degree less than it is outside. and outside feels warmer, because it has sun. i suddenly feel vindicated. currently listening to: edge 102 | coldplay's 'yellow' this song got way too overplayed when it came out, but its kind of nice right now. i like it. scratch the posts from yesterday. today is good. its fabulously sunny and nice outside, and im wearing orange pants, and all is fantastic. im still chicken, but i no longer think im a horrible person. that was a fleeting moment after a conversation. i feel as though i keep putting crap out here and thats ending now (i know, i've said that before, but for real, i gotta cut back at the very least!). last night, karrie and i went for lattes, and lo and behold, the boy who wasn't working yesterday afternoon was working yesterday evening and he looked pretty cute. lesigh. my aim is to ask him out by the end of the month. here's hoping. we had a good chat, albeit she was wiped and so was i...we've got plans to go out to like, portly penguin or something to watch the hockey game tonight (tho i was just thinking maybe 'the arena' on gordon would be better?? i dunno) and chill out with a couple of brews and watch the leafs and sens. good times indeed. my prof keeps giving me work to do in lab. hi. im already kind of busy. tho i did take off yesterday afternoon because all my work was done. but hey, it was done. and i couldn't have done anything else yesterday either. meh. i don't even think i can do any transfections this week because my cells are growing REALLY REALLY slowly...i think babak split them too low, and they're unhappy because they're lonely, and hence, slow at multiplying. finished the schoolwork last night -- don't know if its any good, but i don't really care either at this point. i just hope i did well enough with everything in general to do decent in the course (ie: 70-80 range). to those almost done: keep on truckin' -- i know you're drained and wiped and short of caring, but its fabulous feeling to be done and you'll celebrate it when its happened. you've made it this far, there's no reason to give up now. anyways, i gotta get back to my DNA now. ta.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
currently listening to: dave matthews & tim reynolds | jimi thing i am the dumbest person alive. and perhaps, the most chicken-est. i need to be shot in the head. oy. currently listening to: lostprophets | last train home im feeling like a horrible person right now. and i think its for no reason other than me being too hard on myself. this blows. for whatever reason, there's this one that i just have this INCREDIBLE urge to do at karaoke sometime. mostly coz i like how i do it. and i like the song. and i get these crazy urges to do it. like now. and i can see it happening, and who's there. and then, in seconds, it can all disappear. but right now, its here. and i like it. and im singing it as best i can, over and over. now if only i had the guts to do this in public. gah. currently listening to: hawksley workman | smoke baby this cute boy who borrowed my key is gonna get an earful if its not back soon. he picked it up before 11 and its now 12:30 and he's not back yet. all he had to do was print it off and hand it in, and he had someone who was going to drive him to school. colour me unimpressed. and tired. and somewhat angry.
Monday, April 12, 2004
currently listening to: hawksley workman | smoke baby (um, how much does this song OWN all....it drives me NUTS, i love it so much!) i just had the most random key request ever. hahaha. morgan called me and asked me for my keys to axelrod because his friend needs to hand in a paper. quite random. and hilarious. haha. ps: that was a good hockey game. i feel like i've been neglecting this page recently, but i figure thats ok, because i wonder if some people even read it anymore! ahem. (heh.) hmm. well, i had a good weekend. tres busy, a bit busier than i would have liked, but still good by all means. full of good food, good people, and good board games (for never playing balderdash before, i did pretty well, coming in second!) i received word tonight that my dress for the wedding is in -- eeep! strapless! pretty! TRES EXCITING! :D i am going to look HOTTT and there will be NO SINGLE PEOPLE THERE! i sware, thats a complete crime. so somewhere (and more importantly, somehow) i became brave and managed to do nervewracking things (like asking someone out...how did *i* manage to do that!?!) at any rate, its probably nothing and im not going to get too excited or think about it, coz that hasn't exactly done me any good. tomorrow afternoon, im taking a book and sitting down in second cup for a while, who knows, maybe i'll get up the nerve to say/do something cute (tho probably not -- but who knows! at this rate? i'll be dating every single guy in guelph! ha. probably not.) i dunno...im just feeling very free and available and most importantly, willing to do new things (obviously)...i blame the music. this song drives me crazy its so good. really, i blame the fabulous mixed cd's i made. i have one of them in my discman and i just can't stop smiling whenever i listen to it. so grood. at any rate, i've probably procrastinated enough and should do some work now. ta! (ps ashley, im done now so you can read! hahahaa) currently listening to: edge 102 i really like today's horoscope: Libra Experience has taught you to steel yourself for a struggle in most areas of life. It's natural to come to think of life as one constant struggle. But, there are occasional truces and periods of happiness and this is exactly what lies in your path next.
Thursday, April 08, 2004
currently listening to: jack johnson | rodeo clowns for those who know me, im not a huge hockey fan. but for some reason, that ALL changes come playoffs. and i just realized, hockey players are HOTTT. like whoah. but this game tonight (thus far) has been pretty good. im a fan. go leafs! currently listening to: lostprophets | goodbye tonight DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! sweet mother of god, its done, and it went pretty well. some of the questions at the end i didn't answer as well as i could have, but i say a big MEH to that, because im DONE and i don't give a damn! my prof told me afterwards that i did a really good job and that i spoke very confidently. since none (or few) of you know my prof, allow me to state with total confidence (heh) that a compliment like that, coming from him, is worth 10x as much as that compliment coming from a normal person. i don't kid. for real. afterwards, i met with my advisory committee (after i was told who was on my advisory committee -- heh) and got a big ol' satisfactory (choices are: satisfactory, some concerns, and unsatisfactory, so i'm top o' the heap!) now, im REALLY effing tired, and im not sure where i stand about going out tonight. there's some beer in my fridge. i think i might just put on pj's and drink it and vedge about. im downloading the new southpark episode right now, and so tired.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
currently listening to: nothing tomorrow is 'the day'. the day when this stupid proposal crap is all behind me. i almost wish it had been today, because honestly, im so frickin' sick of this stuff. this has been two weeks of hell on wheels and i'm ready to take a load off and start thinking of other things. like, when am i going to move. ((should i even move, because im starting to feel unwelcome by the girls already?? but thats a question that i'd rather not think about)). oy. tomorrow, at 12pm-ish, i will be one nervous kid. tomorrow at 12:30pm-ish, i will have to put nerves behind and present. tomorrow at 1pm-ish, i am going to be one happy camper. so for pete's sake, WHY can't it be tomorrow yet! currently listening to: crappy french am radio NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he WAS working yesterday and i MISSED HIM!!!!!! GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!! :( i had a line and EVERYTHING!!! (mind you, it was dependent on him saying 'you must really like lattes', which he probably wouldn't have said....) argh. ps robin: glad you approve. hahaha.
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
currently listening to: dave and tim | christmas song (so pretty.) i ate out way too much today. my mom was in cambridge shopping so she came by and we went to casey's for lunch. they made this pretty mean grilled cheese sandwich with bacon (3 kinds of cheese!) and then ruined it by using canola-based margarine to fry it in. people. use BUTTER. its a WONDERFUL thing. then i came home, worked more on my presentation (which, the more time i spend on, i think its pure CRAP) and then nicole phoned, said she was coming up to guelph and going out to dins and would i come. well, being only a couple hours since i had eaten, i said sure, but i didn't know if i'd eat anything. that was fine. we went out to caribou and had calamari and onion rings (believe me, not a calamari fan, but this stuff was actually ok), and then played hangman on the paper they put down on the table. we had to ask for crayons. and the waitress was like "come on, you guys are too old." umm, HULLO. NO ONE is too old for CRAYONS. hear me? NO ONE. so she gave us crayons for our wonderful hangman games. nicole sucks at hangman. who picks words like "mictruition" and "urination" for hangman?!?! not that i was much better with "girth". but hey, i was just following through on an earlier conversation. hahaha. funnie. it was fun. i was chock full of the sarcasm tonight kids, and it was fabulous. i almost cut out one of our rather well-endowed hangmen (turns out that it was just his body she drew, and not anything else) so that i could have a date on saturday night. HA. i slay me. we came up with some pretty fun ideas. like saying that 'rachel' and 'orange' should rhyme, so that they can each rhyme with something. purple was going to be included, but that rhymes with nurple, so we don't need to include it there. and we also created the guelph urinary society (don't ask). i just had just a chicken caesar salad. mm. so grood. staples like that are always fabulous. i worked some more on my presentation tonight (which im still sure is crap :S) and then proceeded to have an indepth conversation with my exboy about how i need to be patient and go out and be fabulous and smile and wait and the boys will come around. (yes. it all struck me as a bit ironic as well.) there is nothing more than i would want to believe than that. TRUST me. however, after 22 years of waiting...have i not waited enough? im going to broadly assume that all guys are the same in this paragraph. and i know thats horribly untrue, but seeing as how opposites of what i'm about to talk about don't exist, or have not made themselves visible, i have no reason to believe they're out there. in fact, i know they're out there. i read one of them. it bothers me that when guys go out, they want the tall, leggy, gorgeous blondes with skimpy clothing. on good days, i think i'm cute. i know i'll never be gorgeous (a more accurate statement applicable to me, i believe, is 'classic', but i digress). im not asking to be gorgeous. im asking to be noticed for the cute, fun, outgoing girl that i am. which never happens, becuase these practically naked paris-hilton-wannabes hog the man-pool (which is pretty shallow here at guelph, and i mean that in all possible ways. again, an assumption, and i apologize to those of you who aren't like that at all. you have to admit, you are the minority on this campus). why is it that the bitchy, scantily-clad women get all the guys, who then fall all over them, even though these girls tend to treat them like shit, but they just lap it up and remain happily attached? HULLO!!!!!!!! *points to self* CUTE, FUN, PUNKY, FABULOUS GIRL OVER HERE LOOKING FOR LOVE!!!! [#5! RIGHT HERE! (haha, that was for you afay!)] hell. i don't even need love. at this point, i'd settle for something and someone with whom i can just pass the time. yeesh. can i MAKE it anymore obvious? its like lisa on the simpsons, in that classic vacation episode, where she decides to change her clothes, style and personality somewhat to gain friends. she goes "being myself didn't work....being someone else didn't work....i guess i'm just not meant to have friends." in the end, it turns out that 'you can't fake the good person that you are', meaning her true self shone through and she won them over anyways, they didn't care about who she was. im not about to change myself for any guy, BELIEVE ME, so please don't misconstrue what im saying. if i have to live a life of single-dom and be happy with who *i* am, myself, thats fine. i'm more than willing to do that than sacrifice myself for some guy who'll probably get bored in 2 months and leave me for one of those hot chicks. but if that episode is true, then why isn't my adorable nature and fabulousness showing through to anyone else? all in all, im happy with myself. i'm just confused as to why no one else is. ((ed note: holy. not meant to be hugely long rant. i apologize to those with studying to do. :P )) currently listening to: john mayer | daughters how ironic that this song is playing during a post about how much i hate being a girl. i hate being a girl. i love advil. i hate grad school right now. i love my new clothes. i hate being up this early. but i know i have to be. :(
Monday, April 05, 2004
currently listening to: michelle branch | goodbye to you fuck. i just noticed a spelling mistake in my thesis proposal. you know, the one i handed in. oy. currently listening to: elliot smith | miss misery i fucking hate hormones. they took a perfectly good day and made it into crap by making me feel like crap about EVERYTHING. i can't go see one of my favorite bands in toronto because ticket + bus = around $55, 60 bucks. and thats far too much. plus i have no one to go with. but the real factor is the cost. this is like, the second time i haven't been able to see them in TO, because of my dumb wallet. remind me again why i chose higher education? currently listening to: phantom planet | big brat this song owns. so. today was the pinnacle. when i went shopping with jen on friday, we went into smartset and they had this cute navy skirt that was cute, yet kind of industrial/utilitarian looking. $40. for kicks, i thought i'd try it on, so i picked up size 13, fully expecting it not to fit. well, it did fit. ME. in a SIZE 13. first let it be said that I RULE. second off, i didn't get it on friday because i felt guilty. i had spent so much already. so i decided against it. but then when i got home and talked to my parents, i decided i'd go back and get it. today, matt and i went to the mall after our latte date and wandered around. we went into smartset and i just picked up the skirt (having already tried it on) to get it. it had been marked down $10. how cool is THAT. so i got it. and it was cheaper. and it STILL FITS. hahaha. not that it wouldn't, but still. in other news, boycut underwear is SO COMFY. holy geez. i love it. so cute. now, im going to make lunch and watch some telly and then start working on my presentation. ta.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
currently listening to: lostprophets | hello again for all who care, the lostprophets sound mucho like juliana theory, and i enjoy them greatly. grood. currently listening to: nothing i think i know why i felt wonderful today. i have found a song that makes me feel passionate about my voice. and i haven't felt this way in a long time. i think part of it is playing and singing the song for my sister's wedding, when i practice, but another part is just this particular song. its by fefe dobson (no comments from the peanut gallery). its totally in my range and its kind of a cute song. i put it on one of my wonderful mixed cd's and i just play it in the car and sing it over and over and over again. i had more that i was going to write. but i don't remember what it was. oh. i know. i had fun with nicole tonight. secret window is good. and very creepy. as in i don't know if i can eat corn on the cob again. but we'll see. people who lie suck. just wanted to say that. goodnight.
Saturday, April 03, 2004
currently listening to: that 70s show on tv today is WONDERFUL. i don't know why. well, i do know why. i'm going to go shopping and buy something, anything, that i want. the requirement for the day is to buy things i want, and not things that i NEED. because for once, i want to buy something i want. i drove into town this morning to do some grocery shopping. me and stacy, on the road, with two delightful mixed cd's that i made on a whim last night. they're so good. they are chock full of songs that i fabulous. its nice outside today. like, really nice. i have velvet pants now. they're fun. and $10. which is a lot of fun for $10. mad sales on winter items at bluenotes, if anyone's interested. thats where i got the velvet pants. im going to see nicole tonight. and maybe most importantly, i've decided that im not doing ANYTHING for my presentation today. today is relax day. i was going to make chocolate chip cookies, but alas, no chocolate chips. oh well. nicole and i are going to go shopping, and rent movies and have dinner and eat junk food. its what we do best. and because nicole and i can have fun doing pretty much anything. especially shopping. but i don't know what im going to get. sometimes, thats when you find the best things. like $10 velvet pants. i was thinking of getting the red hoodie from boathouse, but i figure i have lots of hoodies and i was going to buy a thursday zip hoodie at the show on the 23rd (if they have them there) so maybe i should look at some new tshirts or something. but then i just got a new tshirt, courtesy of my fabulous sister (taryn, you didn't have to give it to me now, but thanks for a) spotting it and b) picking it up and c) giving it to me -- i love it!) so who knows. i've decided one cd is definitely on the 'buy' list (thrice 'the artist in the ambulance') and maybe two (brand new) or three (my chemical romance). who knows. they're all fabulous. but thrice for sure. anyways, there's some popsicles in the freezer and a la-z-boy with my name on it. ps: i still want a juliana theory ticket ohsobadly. they're only $15. pretty please? :)
Friday, April 02, 2004
currently listening to: the juliana theory | french kiss-off mmm. new juliana theory. so grood. so grood indeed. they're in TO on the 29th. who loves me and wants to take me? :) currently listening to: fefe dobson | take me away (shut up, i like it). i REALLY need to stay away from the mall. yeesh. currently listening to: the sound of silence i think its done. and i want to burn it. i finished it. i haven't read it over. and instead, just took two hours to watch csi and er. now, its 2:30am. and im effing tired. i'll get up. read it over (as critically as i can), print it off and head into school for 11:30. it all sounds mighty ambitious, if you ask me.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
currently listening to: all | i'll get there today was ok. wrote the summary part of my proposal this am. then, got sick of looking at it. printed off a copy and took it in and had another grad student proof it for me. he said for the most part, its pretty good, but highlighted a few writing style things that need to be changed, and some other stuff that i hadn't thought of defining in the paper. well worth it. jen had her poster presentation today, so i went to see her and we hung out and chatted. it was fun. afterwards, we went to second cup for lattes. cute second cup boy was working again. took my order, again. and i acted dumb and didn't say anything, again. sigh. does anyone have ideas? then jen and i went to the mall, she had to pick up some stuff for mitch's birthday! we wandered around and looked in other stores too....went to boathouse, which i thought would be pointless because a) most everything is $60 and over and b) the girls stuff NEVER fits me. but fate was working with me today, and i found a baby blue hoodie that says "melissa" on the front of it. a GIRL hoodie. and it FITS. so i bought it. its fabulous. im going to wear it tomorrow. i felt kinda guilty afterwards, but a) im moving somewhere where rent is cheaper, b) i just got a part time job that pays me $9/ hour and c) i haven't bought anything for myself in a LOOONG time. so its well worth it. now, im going to make some tuna salad. and eat dinner. and then make my revisions. we looked at shoes in the mall too. i need some for my dress for the wedding. only thing is, i don't remember how long my dress is. and no one makes navy shoes. LWTF. so i don't know what colour i should be getting. ugh. we even looked at payless and they had NOTHING. anyways. time for dins. and to admire the sweatshirt on the way out of the room. if you see my cute second cup boy, tell him a girl likes him. and she's cute and fun and outgoing and shy. kthx. |
old canvas
my amazon wishlist reading: staring at the lights again adrienne: non-fiction puck you: nhl playoffs 2004 jaked on green beers decordas that kind of girl kates danielle thebrenda theniki mr good the clinic swimgal's splashes love me, hate me.... everything's coming up robin sneaky pete one big rant homestarrunner rathergood.com threebrain.com found magazine makeoutclub chart magazine pollstar breathing: sign my guestbook view my guestbook photo album university of guelph the shape of punk to come musing: coheed and cambria alkaline trio jimmy eat world mae my chemical romance alexisonfire strike anywhere at the drive-in thursday ben folds / five the juliana theory finch brand new yellowcard esthero finger eleven incubus system of a down goldfinger face to face sparta silverchair radiohead weezer the weakerthans k's choice vagrant records drive-thru records victory records
|
